JaiSiyaRam

Hey Ram, give me the ability to express and curb my desire to impress.

Hey Ram, help all of us to grow out of denial.

Let those who deny the allegation and those who deny the explanation, learn to appreciate the other side.

∞∞∞

Having defeated everyone who challenged them on the battlefield, Luv and Kush finally came face to face with Ram. The two youngsters were ready to face the greatest warrior to have ever lived, the opponents oblivious of their mutual relationship. Massive crowd gathered to witness what was turning out to be a mega spectacle. Sita intervened just in time and only then they lowered their weapons.

“They are your children, oh Ram!”, Sita expressed.

Ram calmed down and smiled briefly, “Prove it”, he said.

Sita smiled reassuringly and bowed down. Her face was tranquil as ever, she understood, it was her ultimate test. Graceful as always, she turned around and slowly walked away and before anyone could react she merged with mother earth.

The three men looked on with folded hands and moist eyes. Ram stepped forward and caressed the blade of grass that were left behind above the surface. The onlookers were taken aback by the sudden turn of events. Ram gazed at the assembled crowd, a teardrop escaped the eye of the Maryada Purshottam. Too ashamed to meet the gaze of their beloved king, the assembled crowd dispersed away resenting their insensitivity and ignorance. 

Ram returned to Ayodhya with his sons, both able heirs to the kingdom he so painfully crafted. Few days later, having nothing more left to be demonstrated, he calmly stepped into the Sarayu and crossed over.

SitaRam embraced each other once again as LaxmiNarayan and smiled satisfactorily, for it was an act well executed.

∞∞∞

To understand the timeless beauty of Ramayan one must observe it at two levels. At the macro level, where Vishnu is the preserver and Shakti the energy, both working in tandem to balance the universe. And at the micro level, where Ram and Sita play act their respective roles to teach us the essence of Dharma. Any attempt to dissect the narrative in isolation is ignorant to say the least. In our quest for truth, let SitaRam give us the equanimity which they exemplify so well.

As is the case with many of us, my grandfather narrated me the story of SitaRam for the first time and retold it on countless occasion. Every time he narrated the last act and particularly Sita’s departure, he used to have a lump in his throat. He would then hug me, wipe his eyes, take a sip of water and resume to narrate the moral of the story. Innocent and immature to understand the intricacies, I would urge him to skip the moral and retell the war sequence. He would laugh and shake his head and on and on it went. Like the majority of us, I was too obsessed with the victory of Ram over Ravan, never bothering to look deeper.

Is that all there is to it, victory of good over evil? Or is there something else? Something we have conveniently ignored, for it does not suit our ideological belief system and indulgent way of life. A part of the story manipulated so well, that it allows us men to use it as a reference point to push patriarchy and inequality.   

For all his exemplary behavior, Ram’s decision to question Sita’s chastity continues to be a blemish on an otherwise flawless existence. I see people and women in particular denying him the higher pedestal these days because of this very action. Did Ram really doubt her, did Ram not trust her enough, was there a bit of Ravan even in Ram’s heart?

We cannot deny that he questioned Sita, not once but thrice. We cannot deny that Sita left Ayodhya during her pregnancy. But to question Ram’s integrity and call him a man who lacked trust is to question our intelligence or lack of it.

We remember Ram for his truthfulness, for his courage, for his steadfast nature, for his fairness, for his unmatched self-restrain, but we choose to ignore the one quality that he demonstrated again and again. We never bother to adopt the one virtue that Ram wanted us to observe and inculcate in our life, for it is too tough, it is too tough to SACRIFICE. Only a Ram can sacrifice and a person who can will never have a place for Ravan in his heart.  

Ramayan if we care to look closely teaches us the importance of sacrifice over desire, greed and yearning. It also explains us the meaning of free will and consent. Whether we choose to learn or whether we interpret the part such that it suits our argument is our choice. It is sad that a certain interpretation was passed on to us over the past generations. It is sad that our mediocrity didn’t allow us to look more closely. It is sad that our obsession with war and greed fed the Ravan and robbed the place in our heart that should have been occupied by Ram. Anyhow, our incompetence doesn’t change what SitaRam stood for. Let us take a look.

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King Janak proclaimed that Sita will be wed to the man who can lift and string the ShivaDhanush. Who is Sita and what does the Shiva Dhanush represent? Sita was no ordinary women; an abandoned child adopted by a progressive father who gave her the best of education and freedom to choose her pursuit, she was unlike any other lady. At par and possibly exceeding the intellect of most Brahmans of her era, at par and possibly exceeding the strength of most Kshatriyas of her era, Sita was remarkable lady. She was Shakti incarnated.

For a man to lift and string the Shiva Dhanush is to accept a women possibly far superior to himself. Ravan was an infinitely intelligent man, he was a warrior second to none, and yet he failed the test that Ram so effortlessly passed. For to accept a superior woman, a man needs something more than intelligence and strength, he needs a mind free of ego, a mind that accepts free will.

Only one of the two had a mind free of ego. Only one of them understood the meaning of free will. Sita chose her man.

∞∞∞

King Dasharatha constrained by his promise to Kaikeyi, broke down and reluctantly asked Ram to leave Ayodhya and live in the wilderness for fourteen years. Ram agreed without hesitation and prepared to depart immediately. What was the exile all about? The exile was about Ram proving his merit and not getting the throne out of nepotism. Only a person who does not yearn for the throne becomes worthy of it. Ram sacrificed the free passage and accepted to undergo the hardship of the commoner.

Sita had a choice to stay back, Ram asked her to do so. Instead she chose to be with her man. She understood the value of his sacrifice and he accepted her free will.

∞∞∞

In a rare moment of desire, Sita craved for the golden deer and asked Ram to fetch it. Amused by her uncharacteristic behavior, Ram ran behind the deer with a single arrow ready to pierce the game. It was a planned illusion and shortly Sita and Laxman heard Ram’s cry for help. Sita asked Laxman to go help Ram. Though neither of them doubted Ram’s competence, the situation was overwhelming. Sita insisted that Laxman should leave. Laxman caught in the dilemma, requested her to stay within the Laxmanrekha.

Who was Laxman really to restrict Sita? Sita was not an Abala, she never really needed any protection, she was a martial expert herself? Laxman neither doubted Ram’s ability with the bow nor Sita’s competence to defend herself, he was a mere mortal burdened with a tricky situation, his action emanated out of a brother’s caring heart.

Ravan appeared shortly and asked Sita to step out. He gave her a vision of the alternate universe, a world full of pleasures, where her every word would be an order. What was she doing with Ram, suffering all the time due to his misplaced sense of righteousness? Ravan fully understood the concept of consent, had he attempted to drag her out, he would face the wrath of Kali and burn that very instant. So he cajoled her like an able salesman to experience his world, Sita indulged him. Everything she had learned, she had learned by experience and not out of belief in some scriptures. For her to reconfirm the merit of Ram, she had to experience the flip side, she had to experience Ravan herself.

Sita stepped out and accompanied Ravan. It’s a shame that we equate the Laxmanrekha with confinement of women to the household. The interpretation that Ravan abducted her is ludicrous, he never could have, Sita climbed the Pushpak out of her free will.

∞∞∞

Ravan understood consent because disrespecting it would have meant inflicting injury to himself. But he did not understand free will. So although he never made any advances, he didn’t allow Sita to leave Lanka either. He kept on pestering her, trying to earn her approval, yearning for her consent, irritated because of her cold disinterest.

Hanuman promised Ram that he will infiltrate Lanka and find the whereabouts of Sita. He flew over and after scanning the estates found Sita meditating in the Ashokavan. Sita opened her eyes leaving her Samadhi the moment she sensed the presence of the messenger. Hanuman bowed to her and asked her to accompany him back over the ocean, she politely denied. It was not Hanuman’s job to ferry her across. It was not about his competence either. Hanuman had the capacity to single-handedly demolish Lanka along with Lankadhish Ravan, but this was not his pursuit. It was only fair that he left the job for the protagonist. Sita having experienced Ravan’s way of life did wish to return, but not before the people of Lanka experienced Ram’s way of life. It was imperative that Ram crossed over and confronted Ravan. During the exchange of ideas if Ravan had to perish, so be it.

Ram visiting Lanka was never an overt rescue mission, Sita was in Lanka out of her free will. She could have escaped herself. Sita wanted Lanka to witness Ram. Ram obliged.    

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Lanka was different, in comparison to the advanced civilization of Ayodhya, Lanka was infested with greed. Greed inevitably gives birth to illness and in no time becomes the cause of a pandemic. Although it was Sita’s free will to experience that side, she was not privy to any special treatment. It was essential that before she returned to Ram, she had to go through a period of quarantine and also go through a sequence of fumigation. What we interpret Agnipariksha as purification ritual or an examination of Sita’s chastity was a process of realignment. For all practical purposes it was a realignment of thought, but it was necessary nevertheless.

With free will came responsibility, Sita accepted it, we didn’t. 

∞∞∞

SitaRam, Laxman and Hanuman returned to Ayodhya to reclaim the throne which was rightfully Ram’s. They returned to establish a model society which would be even better than what it was. Ayodhya was already an advanced civilization, what it needed was the realignment of values. Despite his death, Ravan’s influence had somehow managed to creep through the moral fabric. It was Ram’s responsibility to demonstrate model behavior and he was duty bound to do so.

The news of Sita’s pregnancy spread like wildfire, although the reactions were mixed. An overwhelmingly large section of the society was jubilant; they were happy for their king. He deserved peace and pleasure after undergoing a prolonged period of hardship and sacrifice. But there was a minority section which raised questions, they had their own opinion and demanded answers. Was Ram answerable to the minority? He could have remained indifferent to the accusations; the majority population was right behind him anyway. He could have simply crushed the dissenting voices but that would have meant succumbing to the Ravan ideology, that is exactly what he was striving to correct.

Meanwhile Sita had grown further through her experiences. As a child she was raised in a surprisingly liberal and progressive society. As an adult she had experienced both Ram and Ravan’s way of life. Moreover, she also had the unique experience of living the life in the wilderness where nature takes its own course. Where the wellness of an individual is neither bound by artificial restrictions nor prone to the excess of freedom.

Once again Sita made a choice. She wanted to go through her second and third trimester in the lap of nature, far away from the rituals and gossip and politics of the palace. Sita chose the sound of birds and bees and rain and wind as the medium of Garbhasanskar for her children.

Sita once again exercised her free will and left Ayodhya. Ram once again sacrificed. Ayodhya and subsequently those who narrated the story twisted the facts and we assumed blindly that Ram banished Sita, never ever bothering to question our own logic, why would he?

∞∞∞

Luv and Kush were born far from the palace in the wilderness. Sita became their first teacher. They learned commerce from Laxmi, they learned science from Saraswati and they learned arts from Durga, of course they learned martial skills from Shakti. Sita was the embodiment of all streams of knowledge and no wonder the two became exceptionally skilled. Following their father’s path or even bettering it, they were soon going to claim the throne, by merit and not by nepotism.

Sita had chosen this way of upbringing for their children, Ram understood, agreed and sacrificed, yet again.

∞∞∞

After the Ashwamedh Yadnya, when finally, they came face to face, the family deserved a happy ending. The society should have unequivocally accepted them, what better could possibly transpire? Alas, despite his best efforts, some element of Ravan remained and the minority once again asked for credentials. Ram was heartbroken, he sacrificed all his life to demonstrate right values, but people never learned.

Unfortunately, it was about time for the society to experience the pain that he did. People must sacrifice Ramrajya, only when they experience the absence of it will they understand the value. It was time to windup. Next time he would return as a king maker and unleash carnage, maybe people will learn after they have sacrificed themselves.

For now, he did ask Sita to prove Luv and Kush’s lineage. Not out of doubt, never out of doubt. It was one last effort for the people to see their own insensitivity, to understand Dharma through his actions. SitaRam were answerable to their subjects; howsoever minuscule the proportion of dissenting voices might be. However, they were free to answer in the language they felt appropriate.

Sita exercised her free will to exit the stage and Ram made the ultimate sacrifice to stay on without Sita by his side. People of Ayodhya had to witness Ram dying a little bit, every single day.

∞∞∞

It is said that Ram was not a purna-avatar, which means he was unaware of his divinity, unlike Krishna who always knew that he was play acting. So Ram lived his life believing that he was a mortal being. Every mortal wishes to live beyond his life by investing in the intangible concept of legacy. What is Ram’s legacy and how do we remember him? We must think.

We do great disservice to his sacrifices by calling him the pioneer of patriarchy. He remains the best example of man not stunned by a superior woman, a man who instead allowed his lady to exercise her free will, despite the hardship he had to face as a result.

Ram could have claimed the throne, Ram could have married a million women, Ram could have crushed dissenting voices, Ram could have enjoyed the fruits of wealth and position. He did none of that and instead suffered endlessly. To call him a misogynist is a sad reflection of who we are. We are ignorant, insensitive narcissists, far too preoccupied with our perspectives and notions to care about the truth. We must look within.

∞∞∞

Everything that we see, believe and cling on to as truth, is a ridiculously small portion of the cosmic spectacle. Truth is not an event one can simply witness, judge and claim to understand. What we claim to see is just a perspective. Hundred eyes and thousand perspectives are insufficient to understand the truth. We must instead adopt Sita’s way, for truth is not to be understood, it is to be experienced! Close your eyes, look within, every passing moment a Ravan is killed, every passing moment a Ram is born.

Hey Ram, give us the ability to turn inward.

Hey Ram, give us the ability to experience truth.

JaiSiyaRam

∞∞∞